Boundaries

Setting boundaries can be really difficult to do. In relationships, we fall into habitual patterns relating to conflict and communication. As soon as there is an implementation of change in behaviour, you’ll start to notice a form of questioning from those around you. The pushback comes from the feeling of things being unfamiliar. We are accustomed to choosing familiar things in life. Why? It’s predictable (sometimes safe) and leaves less room for change. We don’t necessarily like the feeling of uncertainty. Our minds will wander into the abyss of creating scenarios that are untrue and we can formulate narratives that are toxic in nature. This is where anxiety starts to permeate the space within; mind-body-soul. Remember that whatever negative thought you choose to water will inevitably grow. That’s just the reality. You get a choice to pick up some problematic aspects of life and leave others behind. 

Accepting change is hard, though we live in an ever changing world.  With each new day brings new opportunities for growth, depth and more self-awareness. How do you get better at anything in life? Practice. This takes time, energy and patience. 

The big conundrum is, what if people don’t change? What if you sit in the feeling of wishing, hoping and dreaming that things will be different yet no matter how hard you try, nothing changes. The truth is, you can’t change people. Change is a desire from within. It’s a yearning and willingness for difference, for exploration, for acceptance and more awareness. In doing so, you’ll need to learn to set boundaries with those around you who aren’t on the same trajectory of change as you. Even the kindest hearts have limits. 

Learn to protect your peace and emanate the resilience and inner calm needed to support your health mentally, physically and emotionally. Give yourself the love you deserve. Be confident in what you need and remember that relationships require reciprocity to thrive. 

Look back at how far you have come and embrace each day with a thankful heart for the journey itself. 

By Lauren Pacheco